I feel entirely guilty for what I had to do today.

We had some unexpected expenses that came up, causing a short fall in funding this past week.

Well, we also happened to run out of milk and bread today, which is of course a big deal when you have a 15 month old who loves her milk and a 4 1/2 year old who adores his PB&Js.

I broke into my children’s piggy banks.  Something I promised that I would never do.  When I put money into those little piggies, I make a silent vow to my children and allow that change to become theirs.

Today, I felt like a bad Mommy.

But I also learned today that there are some sacrifices that must be made in order to keep your children happy and healthy.  There are things in life that are out of my control, as much as I wish them not to be.  That family is meant to be there for one another, no matter what.  They don’t understand how they are helping, or even realize that they did.

There is an IOU in each of their piggy banks today because combined, I owe my babies $6.25.  And come next week, when the funds aren’t so tight, and I can breathe again, they will be repaid for allowing Mommy to use their money to buy bread, milk and “eeeshies (pictured below).”

Me, at about 3 years old

That was the line my mom started off our conversation with earlier this summer.  She was begging me to go get a pedicure with her that day, but when we got to our favorite place to have them done, they were closed.  It was a Sunday.  Neither of us had realized they may close early.  So in the parking lot, she told me there was something we needed to talk about.

Oh god, what did I do this time, I thought desperately to myself.  I mean really, your mom says that you need to talk… Isn’t that the first thing that pops into your head, too? No?  Well, okay.  Palms sweaty, heart racing, and knees weak, I waited for her to speak

To make this long conversation short, when I was about 3 years old, my mom had another baby.  A little girl, who she gave up for adoption because at the time, my “father” (I use that term lightly, when in fact he is now more of a Sperm Donor to me) and my Mother were in an on again, off again sort of relationship.  For whatever reason, my parents decided it would be best to give the baby (my 100% biological sister) to a family that could give her the best in life.  To give her everything she would need, and more.

Now, at first I thought this whole thing was a sick joke.  I mean, all my life I had fantasized, or played make believe that somewhere I had a long lost sister or brother.  Someone who was separated from our family at birth, that would some day walk back into our lives.  Maybe it’s normal, or maybe in my sub-conscious mind I really did remember my mom being pregnant and having another baby.

Alas, mom told me that my sister had contacted her on Facebook.  That she wanted to meet her – meet us.  Meet the family that she had that she never got to be a part of.

This was sooo exciting and so scary at the same time!

After running it by my mom and getting her okay, I friend-ed my sister on Facebook.  I didn’t think she looked much like me at first.  I look more like my father.  My sister, on the other hand, has more of my mom’s dominant features.  Either way, we started messaging each other and really seemed to just hit it off.  We talked about this and about that, and I came to realize that she sooooooo fits into our family, in more than one way!

Up to this point, we have met, and hung out a few times.  She only lives a couple hours from us, which is the best part about it!  We can literally drive to one another or meet in the middle for a day trip to hang out.

I am also an AUNTIE but I will leave that update for another post.

Me (ew), Cydney, Mom, William, Dalton, and Amanda!

It has been 13 years since I saw my best friend.   The person that I spent countless days and nights with, laughing, giggling, and doing what typical 10 year old girls do.  That was back when Kitchen Little was cool.  Back when we could play with Barbies.  Back when we tortured our little brothers.  When we were in Girl Scouts together.

13 years and 1 day ago I found out the inevitable was upon us.  Then, 12 years and 364 days ago I lost that best friend. The one person that I really truly trusted and loved. Overcome by a disease that she was born with and had no control over.  Every one of the days in her 10 year life she fought.  Fought for her life, fought against the disease that was consuming her, and fought for her right to have fun.

Cystic Fibrosis took my best friend from me 12 years and 364 days ago.  To this day, the pain is still there.  While most days it is buried in some part of my heart or the other, I am almost unaffected.  There are other days, however, where the pain of losing her hits like it was just yesterday I found out.

My mom told me one day that Becky was extremely sick, in the hospital, and ultimately, wouldn’t be coming home.  As a mother, how do you explain death to a 10 year old child?  How do you, as a 10 year old little girl, grasp the concept of death?  Really, how does anyone grasp the concept of death?  You don’t.  At least I didn’t.  Not at 10.  All that can really be grasped is that soon, that best friend will no longer be able to play with you, laugh with you, or have sleepovers with you.  I cried for a long while on the couch with my mom that night after she told me, because really, that’s all that I could do.

The pain for me as a 10 year old must not be anything compared to that of her mother.  As a mother myself now, I couldn’t imagine what the pain of losing a child is like.  Everything that is associated with death and the arrangements that have to be made is all too much to comprehend.  Plus, this same mourning mother had to explain to her  toddler son why his sister wasn’t coming home.

As of the year 2000, (just 3 years after she passed away) the median predicted age of survival (or life expectancy) for a person with Cystic Fibrosis was 32 years old.  Still very much too young to lose your life.  You see, Cystic Fibrosis has no cure.  It is said that with certain treatments or therapies, and proper nutrition, can lengthen and improve the quality of life for those with CF.  Lung transplants are often an option for CF patients, and while Becky was on the list, she never received her new lungs.

Becky watches over me, my family, and everyone else she ever loved.  She will forever be in my heart, and I find myself sometimes talking to her.  There are times where I wonder what she’d be like today.  In my mind, I imagine she looks the same, though a bit more mature.  Would she have babies of her own?  Would she be married?  Would we still be friends?  She was too good for this world, and was meant to watch over us all from Heaven.

Rest In Peace, my friend.  I love you.

If you want to read another post I wrote for her a few years ago, you may find it here.

This is one of my “formal” attempts at trying silhouette photography. 

Thoughts?  Opinions?  Tips?  Anything helps!  I think silhouette photographs are spectacular and really want to sharpen my skills.

Summertime is finally here!  I’m so excited! 

Here is a pic of the first bout of warm weather we had (couple weeks ago). 

You can find more WW at 5 Minutes for Mom, J. Leigh Designz, and WW home !! 

I am forever trying to find healthier, more affordable snacks for myself and my children.  Konnor has always been huge on fruits and veggies (I know I’m one lucky mama), but it isn’t always convenient when you are going to the park to slice up an apple or peel an orange, and then find a plastic container (don’t throw it away on accident – those are spendy) to store it in until the kids are ready to eat.  Or you could put it into a sandwich baggie and hope it doesn’t get squished and spill all over everything else in your bag.

With Dole, these problems are a thing of the past!  Each individual serving of their fruit bowls come in a little plastic containers with a peel off lid, which is not only disposable, but easy to open.  Konnor has no problems opening their fruit cups and digging right in, with or without utensils!  Seriously.  The fruit inside are bite size, and great finger foods too!

Ariana can pick up the mandarin oranges bites (which are her favorite) and put them into her mouth with little effort.  Teaching her independence and helping to develop her hand/eye coordination, these are a great snack for her age.

What I love about Dole’s Fruit Bowls is that they come in 7 different flavors:  diced apples, diced pears, mixed fruit, tropical fruit, diced peaches, mandarin oranges, and pineapple tidbits.  My children are not at all picky, but if you have a picky child, they are sure to enjoy at least one of these delicious fruit bowls.

Dole was also sweet enough to send both Ariana and Konnor a Marty (from Madagascar) Snack Pack (shown on the right), which is an insulated pouch that easily fits one of the fruit bowls in.  There is a key chain clip, so you can clip it onto the diaper bag, purse, or, like Konnor does, right onto a belt loop.

Three(3) lucky winners will receive a Marty Snack Pack along with a coupon for a pack of Dole Fruit Bowls.

Mandatory Entry:

Head on over to Dole’s website and tell me what other product from them you like or would like to try.

Extra Entries:

Additional entries (each are worth one extra entry, unless stated otherwise. please please leave your email so I can find you if you win):

• Follow Dole on Twitter
• “Like” Dole on Facebook
• Follow theJAKAfiles on Twitter
• “Like” theJAKAfiles on Facebook
• Become a google friend follower (publicly)
• Grab my button and put it on your blog
• Grab Ariana’s Birthday Celebration button & put it on your blog (2 extra entries)
• Subscribe via RSS
• Blog about this giveaway (3 extra entries)
• Tweet about this giveaway once per day (leave the link in a comment & make sure you use @theJAKAmommy in your tweet)
• Enter Kristin or Jackie’s Dole giveaway. (one extra entry for entering each for a total of two extra entries)

This giveaway will end 7/3 at 8pm PST

Anyone who has been to my house knows that I am a clothing fa-na-tic! Seriously, I don’t know why I buy so many clothes for my children when I know that I am going to have to wash them, dry them, and put them away! It’s probably a problem that I am this addicted to buying the kids clothes – really.

Zutano was kind enough to get me hooked on their clothes by sending Ariana their Annika Short Sleve Dress with pants to match. All I can say is… WOW!! As soon as I pulled the outfit out, I was absolutely shocked. The fabric is extremely soft and just makes me want to snuggle my daughter every time she wears this outfit. No matter how many times I wash it, it stays really soft.

Zutano makes bright, colorful patterns for their clothes so you and your child can enjoy them.

Compliments? Oh boy do I get those. Every time Ariana is out in her Zutano outfit, people comment on it. It’s just so bright and fun!

Jackie, Kristin, and I are giving away one $75 gift certificate to Zutano’s Itzy Bitzy line (which is for 0-9mos). This is one giveaway you want to enter! (please note: due to unfortunate events, the gift card must be used AFTER Sept. 1st, 2010.)

Mandatory Entry:

Fill out this form.
 

Extra Entries:

Additional entries (each are worth one extra entry, unless stated otherwise.  please please leave your email so I can find you if you win):

• Follow Zutano on Twitter
• “Like” Zutano on Facebook
• Follow theJAKAfiles on Twitter
• “Like” theJAKAfiles on Facebook
• Become a google friend follower (publicly)
• Grab my button and put it on your blog
• Grab Ariana’s Birthday Celebration button & put it on your blog (2 extra entries)
• Subscribe via RSS
• Blog about this giveaway (3 extra entries)
• Tweet about this giveaway once per day (leave the link in a comment & make sure you use @theJAKAmommy in your tweet):
  
• Enter Kristin or Jackie’s Zutano giveaway. (one extra entry for entering each for a total of two extra entries)

This giveaway will end 7/3 at 8pm PST

Between Konnor’s “white patches” and Ariana’s sensitive baby skin, I am a worry wart when it comes to the sun.  It would be wrong and unfair of me to not protect them from the harmful UV rays, which is why I spend a ton of time, every year, in the sunscreen isle.

I have two distinct issues with most sunscreens that I have purchased since Konnor was born (and I have bought a LOT of sunscreen):

1. the smell
2. the consistency

Hawaiian Tropic’s sunscreen isn’t like normal sunscreen.  What do I mean by that?  You don’t have that nasty coconut smell that most sunscreens posses.  It’s more of a…. well, tropical smell, which is exactly what drew me in.  Before I could apply this to my kids, before we even had sun here in Oregon, I knew I was going to love this sunscreen.  Yes, because it smelled good.

Now, when you are talking sunscreen and babies, or sunscreen and toddlers, you might cringe.  For one reason.  Applying it to the face, right?  Yes! This is probably the worst part of using the stuff.  Sure, you can use the regular sunscreen, which is runny, and the chances of getting it in their eyes or mouth is pretty high.  Or, you could try the spray sunscreen which you have to end up rubbing in anyways because if you are like me, you have to be sure there is enough on your child to avoid sunburn.

The Baby & Kids Protection line of sunscreen is thick.  Not so thick that you have a hard time getting it to come out, but thicker than normal sunscreen.  It is more of a creme, making it easier to apply, easier to rub in, and that must mean it’s less likely to come off in the water, yeah?  This makes face application a heck of a lot easier, let me tell you!

Plus!  Hawaiian Tropic has come out with a Baby Stick Sunscreen for the easy to miss places on the face, such as nose, under and around the eyes, and even the ears.  It literally is like applying deodorant – super easy and super safe!

Here are some of the features and benefits of Hawaiian Tropic Baby Crème Lotion straight from their website:

• NEW indulgent crème form!
• NEW very light, tropical scent!
• Formulated with our patented SunSure® Technology
- Tested in the natural sunlight!
- Less chemical sunscreens
- Advanced UVA Protection
• Pediatrician & Dermatologist tested
• Gentle & mild
• Won’t run into eyes
• Water resistant
• Island botanicals

Thanks to Hawaiian Tropic, one of my readers will win away one 6oz bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Baby Crème Lotion and one 0.5oz tube of Hawaiian Tropic Baby Stick Sunscreen to one lucky.  Trust me, you want to try this amazing sunscreen!

Mandatory Entry:

Visit Hawaiian Tropic’s website and tell me which other product you are most likely to try (they have stuff for Mommy’s too).
Extra Entries:
Additional entries (each are worth one extra entry, unless stated otherwise):

• “Like” Hawaiian Tropic on Facebook
• Follow theJAKAfiles on Twitter
• “Like” theJAKAfiles on Facebook
• Become a google friend follower (publicly)
• Grab my button and put it on your blog
• Grab Ariana’s Birthday Celebration button & put it on your blog (2 extra entries)
• Subscribe via RSS
• Blog about this giveaway (3 extra entries)
• Tweet about this giveaway once per day (leave the link in a comment & make sure you use @theJAKAmommy in your tweet):: ”
  
• Enter Kristin or Jackie’sHawaiian Tropic Sunscreen Giveaway (one extra entry for entering each for a total of two extra entries)

This giveaway will end 7/3 at 9pm PST

I don’t claim to be a photographer, in any sense of the term.  As a matter of fact, I consider myself extremely amateur when it comes to photography.

Mostly, I teach myself about photography and the camera that I use.  When I was a Sophomore in high school I did take a photography class, which is where my love and passion for the hobby began.  Using a Pentax K-1000, the 3 month class taught me a lot of what I know.

Since then, I have owned a number of digital Point & Shoot cameras, which can do no justice with pictures, and frustrated me more than anything else.

Recently, I was able to buy a digital SLR (single-lens reflex) camera and it was THE BEST INVESTMENT EVER!!!  My Pentax K-x is my new baby, my love, and my reason for this post.

Having to teach myself photography all over again (after all, it has been many years since I was a Sophomore), this camera really has all the options.

I’ll be completely honest with you…… I use my Pentax in “auto” mode 99% of the time as I haven’t had a large amount of time to use it in manual.  However, I am taking an oath now to work on my manual photography more when the sun decides to come out and play.  I need to teach myself what this Pentax is all about and push it to its limits!

So………… (this isn’t going to be so wordless)

Summer decided to show up for a whole day and a half over the weekend (yay) before turning back to overcast on Monday and then rain on Tuesday (boo).  However, since the weekend was so nice, we decided to head over to a new-found park about 5 minutes from my house.  Said park has this water “pad” which consists of a bunch of water spouts shooting up for kids to play in.

My adorable child, Konnor, is terrified of the water.  He will NOT go in a pool that is more than a foot deep, and sometimes even a bath petrifies him.  We haven’t gone swimming the last two summers, so finding this park with the “water pad” was really a nice find.  Konnor will be able to enjoy the water when it’s hot without too much anxiety over a pool.

Anyways.  Lol.  Rambling much?  Gah!  So the following pic is Konnor over the weekend smacking the water around.  Hehe!

Here is my handsome little man playing in the water during one of the two days of summer we have had this year.  Seriously, since September, the first day to reach 80 degrees here in Oregon was on Saturday…… What… The…. Funky chickens?!?!!?

Well, now that I have exhausted my “Wordless” Wednesday post, go check out some others.

You can find WW at 5 Minutes for Mom, J. Leigh Designz, and WW home !!

Every child needs a stuffed animal.  A snuggle buddy.  You know, something to curl up with in bed, to hold when you are sick, or even for a long car ride to visit relatives a state away.  I’m sure each and every one of my readers have had, at some point in their life, such a stuffed friend.

Thanks to Build-A-Bear, Ariana now has one.  Their new (and limited edition) Zoorrific Collection has all new animals to choose from, and let me tell you – they are ADORABLE!!!  Ranging from $16-$20, these make for an affordable gift for any child, young or old.  Whether you have a baby who enjoys soft, cuddly toys, or you have a 10 year old whose favorite animal is a Flamingo, Build-A-Bear’s Zoorrific Collection is bound to be a hit!

Ariana received the Giraffe, which is 19 inches in height.  Not too big, and not too small, she took to this stuffed animal right away.  The neck of the giraffe is long and slender, making a perfect area for Ariana to wrap her little arm around and snuggle her new friend.  Not only that, but Build-A-Bear’s animals are so very soft.

Naturally, if you want to dress up your new zoo friends, they have a ton of options in their Clothing and Accessories section.  From adorable dresses, to pants, sunglasses, and shoes, there is literally everything you can think of to put onto your furry companion.

Now, generally with limited edition items, you get some special offers and incentives to go along with it, yes?  Indeed you do, and this, my friends, is no exception.  For one, if you purchase a Zoorrific Collection Furry Friend between 6/4 and 6/13 (only a couple more days), you will receive a reusable backpack for both your furry friend and yourself!  Also, between now and 6/30, Build-A-Bear is hosting a Zoorrific Orlando Sweepstakes (click on the link for more information).  And finally, after receiving your Zoorrific Collection Furry Friend, you can head over to Build-A-Bearville where you will have exclusive access to the new Zoo & a free Zoo Ride for your avatar.

Want to know what the best part about this review is?? Well, Build-A-Bear has graciously decided to allow me to host a giveaway on my blog!  I’m ecstatic!!!!!

Mandatory Entry:

Visit Build-A-Bear Zoorrific Collection’s website and tell me which animal you would like to win and why.

Extra Entries:

Additional entries (each are worth one extra entry, unless stated otherwise):

• Follow Build-A-Bear on Twitter
• “Like” Build-A-Bear on Facebook
• Follow theJAKAfiles on Twitter
• “Like” theJAKAfiles on Facebook
• Become a google friend follower (publicly)
• Grab my button and put it on your blog
• Grab Ariana’s Birthday Celebration button & put it on your blog (2 extra entries)
• Subscribe via RSS
• Blog about this giveaway (3 extra entries)
• Tweet about this giveaway once per day (leave the link in a comment & make sure you use @theJAKAmommy in your tweet):: “Win a @BuildABear Zoorrific Collection Furry Friend from @theJAKAmommy http://tinyurl.com/2wmr9qe.. ends 6/23”
  
• Enter Kristin or Jackie’s Build-A-Bear giveaway (one extra entry for entering each for a total of two extra entries)

This giveaway will end 6/23 at 9pm PST

Happy Birthday to my sweet sweet baby, Ariana!

She turned one last Friday, and so we had her birthday party over the weekend.  The following picture will give you an idea of how all THAT went down…………….

She didn’t touch her cake.
She didn’t care about her presents.
She did eat some pizza.
Didn’t care about who was there.
And who had the bright idea of singing?!

Ariana’s top right tooth is coming in and, apparently, having a birthday party during that phase of teething was a really bad idea.

Well, now that I have exhausted my “Wordless” Wednesday post, go check out some others.

You can find WW at 5 Minutes for Mom, J. Leigh Designz, and Extraordinary Mothers !!

Well it was here.  The sun has now begun to set, so we say good-bye.  For tomorrow, there shall be rain.  Again.  In June..

Anyone else see something very wrong with that… There should never be rain in June.  However, I am an Oregonian, and when you live in Oregon, things like rain in June, while very annoying, can be considered semi-normal.

I hope all of my fellow Oregonians got out and enjoyed the sun today.  Tomorrow, like I said, brings rain, again.  Then we are suppose to have a couple nice days, followed by yet more………….. yes, you guessed it, RAIN!!!

Really, I just wanted to share a couple pictures of our fun in the sun today.  Ariana and I ventured out with one of my BFF’s and her son to a playground to get out and enjoy the sun!

The little boy in the right picture is my BFF’s son.

Sometimes I wonder how I have let the last year slip away. 365 days since you were born, but I remember that day. Embedded among my memories are painful contractions, a half faulty epidural, and the worst pain ever. Clear as day are the memories of your heartbeat on the monitor to the moment they placed you on my chest, and the peace that came over both of us as nearly an hour passed with us staring at each other.

All my life, I wanted a baby girl.  One I could dress up in frilly dresses, tights, and hair bows and ties.  For now, you let me.  I imagine that as you get older, you will grow tired of Mommy constantly fussing with your hair, or making you get into those adorable dresses.  When you outgrow it all, it will be okay.  We are making memories, my Little Love.

You adore your big brother so much.  And yes, he adores you as well.  He protects you and plays with you.  He has always been so fascinated with you.  Watching you and him grow together this last year has made my heart swell.  I can only hope the two of you remain close, protective of one another, and get along always.

In the past 365 days, you have:

• smiled
• coo’d
• rolled over
• crawled
• cut two teeth
• been to the ER in an ambulence
• walked (up to 6 steps unassisted now)
• waved hello and good-bye
• said: “mama, dada, baba, hi, bye, no, & uh-oh
• and even are featured on a website! (www.cutiepatutus.com)

There is honestly so much more that you have done that I can’t even name.

Each day you change just a little bit.  Each day I fall a little bit more in love with you.  Would it be bias of me to say I think you are perfect? Even if it is, I will say it anyways.  You are everything I ever imagined my baby girl would be.

I wish the time wouldn’t go by so fast.  With every moment that passes, and each new thing you do or say, I try my hardest to live in the moment.  My attempts to stop time have been unsuccessful.  I promise you this though – pictures last forever.  Each picture is a moment in time captured that can (and will) be relived over and over.

So I take pictures.  Lots of them.  Here are some of my favorites over the last year.

Ariana Lin, I love you soooo much!  Happy Birthday to you!  Here are to many many more years worth of memories and birthdays to come.

Love,
Your Mommy

Want more Wordless Wednesday?

Check out 5 Minutes for Mom, J. Leigh Designz, and Extraordinary Mothers !!