Please know that the following post is a full on rant post about something that was said to me in regards to my life. While this person may or may not read my blog, names will be omitted and said person can take up with me the following words (and quite possibly language) that I may or may not feel is necessary.
I am a mother to two amazing, beautiful children.
They are my life.
They are my heart.
They are my soul.
They are prodigies of myself, and you want to know something? I would NOT have it any.
other.
way.
PERIOD.
While I may not be the best mother that I can possibly be 100% of the time, I do what I can. I protect my children. Love my children. Give them all that they need and some of what they want.
You do NOT have the right to tell me if I am “living” or not. To tell me that I am missing out on life is complete and utter bull shit! Just because I don’t find joy and happiness in the same “fun and simple things” that you do does not mean I am “missing out.”
At this point in time, my kids are too young to appreciate camping. That would be more work than fun. We do go to the beach, but financial circumstances might make it less frequent that what you consider “living.” Summer BBQ’s with friends, you say is “living.” News flash, buddy. When you have kids, those people who you thought were friends disappear.
For you to be a parent, have your child for 50% of the time, and tell me I’m not living says something. As a parent, you should share the joys and happiness that comes with watching your little one grow up. Nothing is more fulfilling. No amount of parties, BBQs, or camping trips can amount to the feeling you get when your baby starts crawling, says her first word, or feeds herself. OR when your preschooler brings home his first art project, first “report card” or when he shows you he can draw his letters and count to 10.
Raising a child has it downfalls, too. They aren’t always happy, and sometimes you feel that you want to pull out your hair, scream, or lock yourself in the bathroom to cry. They test every ounce of patience you have, and take it one step further. Sometimes, I feel I am not cut out for this job of Mommy. Plus, you don’t get to go out when you want, live carelessly like you once did, and let’s face it – your body is never the same (if you are a mom). But hey, that’s what we sign up for when we have sex, right? The possibility of pregnancy, no matter what efforts we make to prevent it or not. 
Go ahead, buddy, keep thinking I’m not living. When push comes to shove, those friends will not always be around. My children will. We are flesh & blood, and family is forever. You can not and will never take that away from me – no one will! You may not understand that now, even though you have a child, but one day you will. You will look back and kick yourself in the ass for not taking those extra moments.
My life is not all peaches and cream, by any means. I have my struggles – at times my cheeks are stained from the tears I cry. That is what makes me stronger. What makes my life better.
I feel.
I hurt.
I laugh.
I love.
With all of my heart, I feel the weight of the pain of life. The joys of life.
I am living my life.
Well said! Ya gawddamn skippy you’re living. Probably just chaps this persons ass that YOU get the concept of “living” and they dont. Parties, camping, bbqs….thats living?! I actually HATE camping so for me that would not be living-it would be DEATH. I dont cook so bbq’s are out….parties with friends? Like the bday parties we have for our kids? Yeah thats right. Im living too. A living, loving mother….something some ppl just cannot wrap their simple materialistic minds around.
You keep loving those babies the way you do….with all your fucking heart and soul and just you watch….your babies will have fond memories of their mama “living”
I can’t stand it when people do this. The shining example that I always remember is this one:
I moved out of my mom’s house at a pretty young age, I was in my mid-teens, and I had a job as a dishwasher at a restaurant, lived with a longtime “friend” (read:leech) to make rent affordable. The house was a mess, but I was (as I previously stated) a kid who worked fulltime and slept all day. Our house, being the one without parents, was a hangout. We were never really hard partiers, but we did have an influx of visitors coming to the suite and disrespecting it. Mind you, we were teenagers. A once a month clean up was pretty well okay with us.
I had a boyfriend, from a suburb, He was in his mid twenties and hung out with all the friends he had in highschool. One of whom he brought over, and proceeded to tell me that my house was a mess and I should focus more on that than on… fun.
So I told him, in less words than what you’ve used here, to back off. “When you get a job,” I said, “Your stepmom is no longer washing your panties for you, you pay your rent on time and you feed your self.. THEN you can talk to me about the state I live in.”
It’s that old adage. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Well, guess what! Maybe it’s best just to not throw stones at all.
After all, you don’t make friends that way. Right parents???
Alex, you’re an amazing woman doing an amazing job. I see you living. I see your joy. And thank you for sharing it with us on a daily basis.
Oh my gosh you both made me giggle. And tear up a little bit.
Some people (and most are men and people without babies) don’t understand what mothers sacrifice to change their lives. For the better, I should add.
CC, LindsayDianne, I heart you both! Big hugs from Oregon!!!
Whoever said this is a total douche…You’re a great mom…I don’t even have to be in your ‘real world’ to see that. Keep ya head up mama!
OK – I have a feeling I’m quite a bit older than you are but there is some good stuff that comes with age so I hope I am sharing experience and not talking down to you in any way. When people are crappy to you, if you look far enough into what they are saying (and sometimes, not even that far at all) you’ll almost always find that they are trying to convince THEMSELVES of something. You are just kind of a pawn. I don’t know you – I don’t know this person – but if they were really happy with their BBQ’s and parties and camping (random list of ‘living’, if you ask me, but whatever) they wouldn’t feel any need to say anything to you. Did that make sense? It’s not about you living, or not living – they are trying to convince themself THEY are living, but must have some doubt about it.
J – I love you! Thanks, doll! :)
Jen – I totally agree! Maybe its the fact they only see their son 50% of the time and that is their filler or they just need to grow up – who knows. It’s a male, so that explains a lot! ROFL.
Sorry to all my male readers. i still love you!
What an awesome post!!! Very well said!